The 5 Best Ways to See Your Kids While Going Through a Divorce

June 26, 2023

photo of two adults playing on the beach with two children

Going through a divorce can be an emotionally challenging time for anyone, especially when children are involved. One of the most pressing concerns for parents is how to maintain a strong relationship with their children while navigating the complexities of a divorce.

What are the benefits of children spending time with both parents?

Studies have shown that children who maintain a strong relationship with both parents after a divorce tend to have better emotional, social, and academic outcomes. By being present in your child's life, you can help foster their growth and development, even during a challenging period.

Here are the five best ways to ensure that you can see your kids and maintain a healthy relationship throughout the process:

1. Understanding the Most Common Custody Arrangement

In most cases, courts prefer to award joint custody to both parents. This arrangement allows children to spend time with both parents, promoting a healthy relationship and a balanced upbringing. Joint custody can be split into two categories: joint legal custody and joint physical custody. Joint legal custody enables both parents to make decisions about the child's upbringing, while joint physical custody ensures that the child spends a significant amount of time with both parents.

To see your kids regularly and maintain a strong relationship with them, it's crucial to understand the most common custody arrangements and work with a child custody attorney to secure the best possible outcome for your family.

2. Establishing a Consistent Schedule

One of the best ways to ensure that you can see your kids while going through a divorce is to establish a consistent schedule. A well-structured schedule provides stability and predictability for your children, which is particularly important during a tumultuous period in their lives. Establishing a routine also allows both parents to plan their lives accordingly, reducing the potential for conflict.

Work together with your former spouse to develop a schedule that works for both of you, keeping in mind the best interests of your children. This may include alternating weekends, splitting holidays, or designating specific days during the week for each parent. Be sure to consult with a child custody attorney to help you formalize the schedule and ensure it complies with any court orders or legal requirements.

3. Utilizing Technology to Stay Connected

In today's digital age, technology can play a significant role in helping parents maintain a connection with their children, even when they are not physically present. If you're unable to see your kids in person as often as you'd like, consider using video calls, messaging apps, and social media to stay connected.

Regular communication through these channels allows you to participate in your child's daily life, maintain a strong emotional bond, and support their growth and development. When using technology to stay connected, it's essential to respect the boundaries and agreements established with your former spouse and avoid using these channels to discuss contentious issues or argue about the divorce.

4. Participating in Your Child's Activities and Milestones

Another effective way to see your kids while going through a divorce is to actively participate in their activities and celebrate their milestones. Attend school events, extracurricular activities, and special occasions whenever possible. This not only allows you to spend time with your children but also demonstrates your commitment to their well-being and happiness.

5. Collaborating with Your Former Spouse

Finally, one of the most critical aspects of ensuring that you can see your kids while going through a divorce is to maintain a cooperative relationship with your former spouse. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your divorce, it's essential to prioritize your children's needs and work together to create a healthy co-parenting environment. Great, right, easier said than done. 

Some ways to collaborate with your former spouse include going to therapy yourself to work on issues that may come up when dealing with him or her. I have said it before and I am saying it again, do not disparage your former spouse; this will go a long way in collaborating with him or her. Set communication boundaries such as employing and; these two apps can help keep communication civil and in check. Finally, try to limit third party involvement with your kids and your former spouse as much as possible; try to keep co-parenting between the two of you to keep emotions cool.

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This material is provided for educational purposes only. Providing this information does not establish an attorney/client relationship. None of the information contained in this newsletter should be acted upon without first consulting with an attorney. Should you have questions about the content of this newsletter, please arrange to discuss via a consultation.